365 Days

I am truly inspired by this story.  I recently received a postcard in the mail from a friend who lives about 400 metres from me.  A lovely postcard which read;
Hi Jo,
Hope you had a smashing game of tennis on Thursday - missed the chat!  I hope too that the misplaced dance shoes have been found  and are ready for this week!!  Sitting in front of our new feature "wallpaper" wall and I must say, it looks brilliant!!  Have a great week.
Love Trudy.
I re-read the postcard over and said "wow" how nice is that more than once to myself.  What was really going on here was how nice it is that I have someone who thinks and cares about me, that they send a postcard even when they are not on holiday.  I was chuffed!!  When next we spoke I told Trudy this and she then revealed that she is on a 365 day postcard challenge.  Tired of receiving bill after bill each time she goes to the mailbox, she thought everyone would benefit from that wonderful feeling that you gain when you receive nice post.  Hence she started the 365 postcard challenge to bring joy into other people's lives.  She is having a ball and is surprised at the number of postcards she is now receiving as a result and the number of conversations and stories that have ensued.  Although this was not her ultimate intention it just goes to show that people love to receive and give joy and that it doesn't take much..... although a commitment of 365 days is pretty amazing.

So being inspired (and a copy cat), close to winter and looking for some revitalisation, I would like to start my own 365 day challenge, so I have my thinking cap on.  If you have any ideas please share them here.  My only rule is that it must benefit me and others and it must focus on an area of personal development.  Would love to hear your thoughts.

Looking for Inspiration - What can I do everyday for the next 365 days?

  

The Gratitude Journal

For ages I have wanted to journal and in my own way I have. Since 2005, I have kept a kind of scrap book with favorite pictures and quotes.  I have found this useful for visioning my future and for identifying things that are important about me and where I am headed.  These scrap books have helped me transition, to kind of enter mid life if you will and all this brings.

Recently, on my travels for work, I came across a beautiful gratitude journal and I am now hooked.  I have always known gratitude to be energising and giving thanks has always been attractive to me.  From a young age, I have written notes and cards of Thank You to others and believe (in the main) I have given credit where it is due and thanks to those in my work and family who have assisted along the way.  Now, I am hooked.

"If you count all your assets, you always show a profit." 

Robert Quillen

I am amazed at how much better I feel as I reflect at the end of most days / weeks.  It helps me to focus on the people in my day and  the large and small things that I have found pleasing about the day.  I also find it keeps my mind away from focussing on the negative things (and dare I say a little self pity from time to time!)   At last I am "observing the day", rather than "thinking (or over thinking) the day."   It is great to pause and notice things and people that would not normally feature and yet are so important.

"Choosing to pay attention to what's uplifting by writing about it, and living it 'twice over', can radically improve your mood, wellbeing, self respect and trust.  It can also radically improve your relationships with other people - regardless of  whether they are friends or strangers."

Stephanie Dowrick 

There are so many ways to feel the power of gratitude, here are just a few.....

1.      3,2,1

The 3,2,1 strategy is a great way for consciously reviewing your day and practising gratitude. It helps us to see the good things in our days and even when things aren’t so great, it helps us to recognise the positive things instead of getting fixated on the negative.  So have a try.  This is the one we use in our family. Each night as you pop your head on the pillow, pause for a minute and think about 3 things that you are grateful for from your day, 2 things that you liked about your day and then 1 thing that you would like to do better next time.  So, use this one or make up one of your own using the 3,2,1 method.

2. Three Things I am Grateful For

 At the end of each day, thinnk back over the day and identify and write about three things that you are grateful for today.

3. People I Meet

 Every single person who comes into your life impacts on you in some way.  This isn't always obvious.  Make a list of people who are important to you and jot down why.  Keep adding to this list.

4. Thank You Note / Gifts

 Take a minute to write a thank you note or give a gift. Or maybe it's a phone call or a card.

5. Relish in the Small Things

Take time to smell the roses, inhale the aroma of great coffee, freshly mowed grass or your favorite perfume etc.  And give thanks for the feeling this gives you. 

So, now, it's over to you.  Find time in your day / week / life to pause and review and reflect and acknowledge things that you may currently take for granted.  Make them a focus and relive the positive feelings around this moment.   There is something very special about bringing your focus to the here and now. I for one am experiencing increased contentment as a result.  Afterall, a life taken for granted would have to be a life not lived.

"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others."

Cicero

   

  

           

Clean Up Goals



Happy Easter

Here I am Easter Sunday and all ready and waiting for 18 family members to descend for a BBQ.  Well, not quite ready, but as least the floors have been vacuumed! We were hoping for a sunny day and instead have clearing showers, but as we tuck into another Easter egg and look forward to the arrival of freinds and family, we are not worried in the slightest.  I am still to work out how to have a BBQ when it is raining - stage right garage!!!

Over the last week I have been reminded on a number of levels about the important concept of Clean Up Goals.  This concept was introduced to me by Wendy Buckingham, based in Sydney and author of the great book, Ready Set Goal! To me it just makes perfect sense.......

See what you think about what Wendy says...."One of the biggest hurdles to jump in goal planning and achievement can be cleaning up those little piles of you-know-what that are sticking to you around old failed goals.  Those piles of bad memories and negative beliefs that create the mind chatter that undermines your ambition, drains your energy and stands in the way of your future achievement.  Consider this, every time you decide on a goal and, for whatever reason, don't get to achieve that goal,a little residue of underachiever energy is deposited into your belief system.  As this pile of negative energy grows and takes up space in your conscious and subconscious mind, your energy to achieve, faith in yourself and motivation to keep setting and achieving new goals subsides."

So let's clean up some of those all goals - we all have them - and feel the power of how great it will be not to carry the history and negative beliefs about goal setting into our futures.  We all have goals that have hit a brick wall. These are goals that have stalled.  It might be something you did or someone else did or maybe the goal just stalled. It night be becauase of illness or something totally out of your control.  It is likley you feel some pain around this failed goal - that's OK, here is what Wendy suggests to clean up these unacheived goals.

Four Step Process to Clean Up Goals that have hit a Brick Wall 
Step 1: Identify the failed goal and write it down.
Step 2: Explain how you hoped the goal was going to be achieved.  What were your plans?  What was the outcome?  Who else was involved?
Step 3: What actually did happen?  How did things turn out differently from what you had hoped for?  Where was the pain?  Where is the resentment?  What were your thoughts about yourself?  What decisions did  you make at the time?
Step 4: Step back from the pain of the failed goal and list everything you achieved or learned while you were in the process of going for that goal.  Ask yourself these questions:
What did I learn and how am I stronger?
What were my achievements along the way?
What do I know to do differently in the future?
What wouldn't I  do again?
Even though I didn't get my goal, what were the wins I had that I can acknowledge and celebrate?"

This 4 step process will support you in removing the pain associated with not achieving this goal.  Now there will be room for a "growing sense of achievement and completion and a sound foundation from which to move forward to your next goals.  The final step is to decide whether you still want that particular goal or something similar.  If you don't then celebrate your learning, strengthening and achievements and LET IT GO!  Or you may discover that, now you have got rid of all the negative 'stuff', your energy around the failed goal has been renewed.  If that's the case, set a new goal, and GO FOR IT! 

Just this week I had a colleague tell me that after working on a clean up goal, she had more energy and was surprised at how her mind had started to think about what next and this made her happy.  So how about it, identify an old goal that just isnt working for you, sit down with a journal or talk through the 4 step process and enjoy the rewards.

The Happiness Trap ACT Now

Yes still picking apples!!!   

I am back into reading after a break.  I'm thinking it must be because the weather has turned chilly and I just love curling up on my comfy couch with a good read. Lucky for me I live in a quiet spot, so the book really does get my full attention!  There are many good books around these days, it really isnt difficult to find a good read.  But yes there is a difference between a good read and a great read.  A good read is enjoyed and then as the days tick by forgotten.   A great read stays around, almost with you somehow and its messages urge you to think or do something differently.  A great book can change how you see things, can change what you do and in fact can change habits, patterns and outlooks.  Ahh the power of the written word.  Who would have thought that the writer could hold such power - no its not the writer - for they are but words - ah yes it is the reader who holds all the power if they will allow it.  So check in when you next read and make a mental note about what the book's messages mean to you and what are you going to do as a result.

For me, I have just re-read THE HAPPINESS TRAP and its messages are just as relevant today as they were in 2007 when it was first published.  The author Dr Russ Harris, an, Australian based psychologist and specialist in acceptance commitment therapy has much to say that hits a cord with me.    I love all the stuff about transforming your inner world .  And my all time favorite bit is a strategy to support you when you find yourself caught up in a negative cycle or feeling guily ot beating yourself up over something. As Harris states;
"..there's no point in beating yourself up when you screw up or fail to follow through.  Guilt trips and self criticism don't motivate you to make meaningful changes; they just keep you stuck, dwelling on the past, which is something you have no power over.  So after each relapse keep coming back to the basic ACT formula.

Accept your internal experience and be present
Choose a valued direction
Take action

So what does this mean in practice? 

Well the first step, once you've gone off track, is to recognise it consciously: to be fully present with what's happening. Ar the same time, you need to accept that once this has happened, you can't change it; there is no way you can possibly alter the past.  And while it may be valuable to reflect on the past and think about what you might do differently nect time around, there's no point dwelling on it and cricifying yourself for being imperfect.  So accept that you went off track, accept that it's in the past and is now unchangeable, and accept that you're human and therefore imperfect. 

The second step is to ask yourself: 'What do I want to do now?  Rather than dwelling on the past, what can I do in the present that's important and meaningful?'

Then the third step is, of course, to take committed action in line with that value."

If you like the sound of this acceptance commitment stuff, here are some websites you might want to have a look at. 
http://www.mindfulnessresources.com/
http://www.actmindfully.com.au/
http://www.mindfulnessatwork.com/

And please do take a minute, the very next time you have a troublesome throught or a little negativity running through your mind to ACT and see how it works for you.  I love it!  Let us know how you go!

And still picking apples..... would love to receive some great apple recipes. 

 

               

Some Healing Thoughts

I have been challenged this week to think about the affect that our positive thinking, thoughts etc can have on our wellbeing, ie all that mind over matter stuff.  And to think about how our emotions and our emotional state affects our day to day lives and relationships. it came into focus this week when I caught up with a long time work colleague who said to me "I am the happiest I have ever been and I am more relaxed and creative than ever."  His words were positive and spoken with great conviction, there is no doubt, he is experiencing a great high in his life right now.  And being part of his optimism got me thinking there must be a connection  between our emotions and wellbeing. 
 
Proof is emerging that our emotions affect our state of health.  Good feelings have healing effects on the body.  And feelings also influence your immunity and the rate you heal from illness and injuries.  We know about things like it's best not to smoke or to drink and exercise and a healthy diet is best.  Now we can add to this, "our level of optimism".  And  according to Mark Seligman, PhD, optimism is as least as beneficial as all the others mentioned. 

While research is not yet quite conclusive, it is clear that negative feelings like stress, sadness and worry cause a spike in the hormone cortisol and this in turn suppresses the immune system.  So there's a real imperative now to be optimistic and keep your emotions in check.  Here are some quick and simple tips that can help;

1. Express yourself.  Don't hold back.  Clear your head of thoughts and good things will happen to the rest of you.
2. Take up meditation or some sort of relaxation activity.  How about Tai Chi, yoga or some meditation CD's.
3. Ask for help if you need it.  You are not expected to know or be able to do everything!  Seek out a partner to help along the way.
4. Lean on your friends.  Social networking is huge for a reason - because people genuinely like connecting.  It makes us feel good and this in turn keeps us happy and it seems healthy too.  And effective social relationships and networks can help lower stress levels too.   
5. Look on the bright side.  Make it a point to keep your emotional state positive.  This includes being happy, calm and lively. 

   

   Smiles all round. We found the tree that dad planted as a boy.

   

We all have the ability to choose our own mind set so might as well make it an optimistic one I say.  So right now please take a minute to let us know what you do now or can do to keep an optimistic mindset.  And then make sure you put it into action straight away.